That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
