3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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