I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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