Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
