She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
