I wanna passion pit in your ass
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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