Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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