just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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