NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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