She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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