Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
