idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
