i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
