I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
