Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
