Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
