shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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