He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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