I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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