I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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