why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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