# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
