Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
