ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
