I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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