**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
