You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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