I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
