no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
