She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
