Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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