mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
