So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize