I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
