so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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