Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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