I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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