Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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