so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
