if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bring me that man meat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
