You just made me feel so damn special
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
