what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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