i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
