some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
