like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
