Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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