if i can run in heels then i can drive
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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