i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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