My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize