epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
