our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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