That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
